I’ve got slight anxiety that is unstable and threatening to get worse and I can’t seem to kill it
I have done nothing useful at all
My eldest boy is MiA and I have no clue where he is
Positives of today:
I don’t have to get anything done
I don’t have to go anywhere
My toddler is very happy and content
I have a reasonable amount of money in the bank for a change
I’m a closer to being able to move to Sydney than I was this time last month
I’m not having to go without anything this week so my kids can eat
The weather is really nice
My spine isn’t playing up and I can almost feel my legs properly and can walk just fine
No one and nothing has pissed me off
Playing WoW earlier I finally managed to get some achievements I’d been struggling to get done right for a while
I received several emails from a friend that made me smile
My eldest boy has good friends with good families that won’t let any harm come to him so whichever friend he is with I’m sure he’ll be safe - and probably very embarassed later when he gets home and realises he forgot to phone me to let me know where he was going. lol
I haven’t received any crappy canvassing phone calls, spam email, or even postal junk mail
I have pizza
Positives far outweigh the negatives. It’s a really good day.
Bangladesh happens to be a way cooler name. So does Sierra Leone. And Nairobi. And Rwanda.
None of them are cool. I’ve had the luxury of deploying to several of them, and it’s not just their leaders that are jack-offs. The entirety of the countries are ten different flavors of fucked up.
Sorry, you’re both wrong, the most awesome country name is, ‘Federated States of Micronesia’. The name makes me imagine a tiny little pocket sized piece of land where everything has been shrunk down to scale where the people are about an inch tall. lol
As for jackoffs running countries… please name one that isn’t. If you list the names of ones that are we’ll be here all day. :P
BREAKING NEWS: The Pitty Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move On, and crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming to a complete stop at Get The Heck Over It. Any complaints about how we operate can be forwarded to 1-800-waa-aaah with Dr. Sniffle Reporting LIVE from Quitchur Bitchin'. If you like this, repost it. If you don't...suck it up cupcake! Life doesn't revolve around you
This made me laugh. I must still be in one of my colder moods.
I will repress every memory I had of you. I will make my undiagnosed PTSD worse. You want nothing to do with me and I need to face that fact. I cut again tonight, I didn’t know how to last five more seconds without you in my life.
Yeah, I’m pathetic. Extremely pathetic. We dated for two fucking…
Quote: “I will make my undiagnosed PTSD worse.”
PTSD is NOT the only mental illness that can develop as a result of trauma.
You can not say you have an undiagnosed mental illness of any kind because it is UNDIAGNOSED.
You are not mentally ill until a qualified medical professional tells you so. Until then, you’re just fucked in the head like everybody else.
I’m not being nasty here, just being completely fucking real.
You know what I'm starting to get real fucking sick of? the whole "I'm blind to gender" shit. IDGAF what you do with your personal life. Stop trying to make me "aware" of whatever it is you do. Straight, gay, bi... Whatever the fuck you are; cool story bro. Tell it again.
Feminism is all about equality between the genders.
Chivalry is about men respecting women to the point of unequality, with the woman’s life being treated as more worthy than that of the man’s life.
Chivalry is about men keeping women safe.
It is about men carrying the heavily loaded bags so the woman doesn’t risk an injury trying to move them. Pulling a chair out - which gives the man a chance to check that the chair is indeed safe for the woman to sit on. Opening a door - giving the man a chance to check that passage through the door is safe for the woman.
A truely chivalrous man will sacrifice his own life to save a woman from harm.
He will give up his seat and stand for hours if need be so a woman can sit comfortably.
He will put his coat on the ground at a muddly gutter where a woman needs to step out of a car so that her shoes don’t get wet, soiled and slippery.
He will do all the physical labouring jobs so the woman doesn’t risk an injury.
He will never ask a woman for money, and will always pay for the woman’s drinks and meal, and anything else she should require while in his company.
All the chivalrous man asks for in return from the woman is a polite thank you.
When women insist upon putting their lives equal to that of men; they are in fact degrading themselves.
And then they wonder why in today’s modern world of equality between the genders, men are losing respect for women.
Me:Woah, you need a code to get into your bathroom?! That's so weird.
Alyssa:I go to a co-ed school, you go to a women's college. You don't have to worry about the rape-inz.
Me [confused, open mouthed silence for a moment]:...what?!
My comment to this dialogue:That is about as sad as can get, and I don't know what is worse. When rape is so common that a college bathroom needs a security code to enter it, or the notion that a woman can't get raped at an all-women college...
This is a funny article, (I’m a fan of black humor).
Which Science kills more people?
Pulling out real world statistics, we look to the Center for Disease Control (CDh). In 2007 (their most recent complete survey), we find that the bulk of the 2,423,712 US deaths were due to three causes: heart disease, cancer, and stroke.
Damn, looks like Biology takes an early lead. Those 3 causes alone cover over half of all deaths (54.2%) In fact, of the 15 leading causes, 9 of them are simple biology, causing 68.2% of all deaths. Disease and infection rule the land of the dead. this is apparently a real UK sign! Aren’t there more interesting ways to die? And by more interesting, I of course mean via Physics or Chemistry. The remaining top killers include accident (5.1%, a quick lead for Physics), alcholism (3.1%, a win for Chemistry), assault and homicide (0.8%, tipping the scales back to Physics), and “all others” (18.6%). […]
[…] As we take our tally of the grim reaper’s science team, it seems clear that physics and chemistry, interesting as they are, simply are not able to kill large numbers of people efficiently in today’s world. Based on this rigorous statistical analysis, then, I suggest we make Biology illegal. Doing so will prevent the deaths of millions.
Ultimately, you could argue that Mathematics is the deadliest science. After all, Statistics show that 100% of all people will die. […]
Support gay pride… I’m not agaist gays by any means, they’re as human as I am and in some ways more humane than most people! I’m so content to let them wave a flag I bought one as a gift for someone that I think deserved it! I guess that must mean I support gay pride…
But what got me thinking was…
But isn’t that the point of supporting something? So that eventually, in a perfect world, although I know it will never exist, that the information will get out that it’s unjust and how to stop the ignorance?
Having something to wave around doesn’t mean anything when I (even just as a Lesbian) can’t go back to NY and actually be out without being ridiculed and bashed, and me as a transgender person, possibilities of death. It’s real. I was never out in NY, I live a half hour from San Fransisco and still have to be careful.
To me, it’s just like rape victim information, PTSD information, etc. We can’t always get every little thing out there for awareness on stuff, but we can sure try to do what we can to change the world to a better place, even if that world only consists of one more person.
Yes, in this case, it’s just a flag, but that flag is so much more when it makes someone second think about doing something that *I* feel is unjust towards someone. :)
Wow, that made me think way to hard, but touched a nerve, so thought I would attempt to try to communicate my thoughts.
By ‘waving a flag’ I meant in the sense of standing up against the ignorance of others. I wasn’t saying that we shouldn’t do that, far from it. But why only do it under a banners of minorities? Why not just say EVERYONE should be treated with respect, dignity, be free from abuse, etc. Surely that would make a shit load more sense. One fucking big flag for everyone saying: “TREAT US ALL EQUALLY AND WITH RESPECT!”
My main point of what I wrote was merely to point out that what society perceives as a non-minority is indeed still a minority.
The thing is, everyone is part of a minority group of some sort. Everyone that has lived long enough can say that at some point in their life they’ve come across someone who was discriminating, bullying, or snobby towards them for whatever their minority happened to be, and yet so many people go around doing the same crap to others. FSS WHY? Ultimately, the people they’re picking on may be different to them, but we’re all in the same fucking boat!
While we’re on the subject…
I think it’s kind of weird to meet someone who introduces themselves as “Hi, I’m <name>, I’m <insert minority group here> and I’m proud of it.” How am I supposed to respond to that? “Hi, I’m <name>, and thank you for suggesting that I don’t need to ask anything else about you at all because you just totally defined yourself with one word.”??? WTF is the point of it? When people stop defining themselves by a minority stereotype that they think fits them, just maybe others might stop doing it to them as well.
I just don’t get why everyone has to pigeon hole and stereotype themselves! They whine and whinge when others do it to them, why self-inflict the problem even more? It just makes no sense to me.
When someone can say, “Hi! I’m <name>, I’m myself and I’m proud of it.” then I’ll be impressed.
Support gay pride… I’m not agaist gays by any means, they’re as human as I am and in some ways more humane than most people! I’m so content to let them wave a flag I bought one as a gift for someone that I think deserved it! I guess that must mean I support gay pride…
But what got me thinking was the idea of re-blogging something “if you support gay pride, re-blog this” type of thing with a gay pride flag picture. I didn’t think much of it at first, then considered re-blogging it, and then I wondered, okay… lets think about this for a minute…
Other minority racial rights…
Rights for the elderly, the disabled, the mentally ill, every independant religion you can think of, every minority group of people you can imagine…
What is left?
I’m wondering, after all the flags have been waved, who is going to wave a flag for the middle-aged, white, Australian-born, heterosexual, agnostic, perfectly sane, physically-able man? Does anyone actually realise how few people in this country DON’T have a flag of rights and fair-treatment to wave?
I clam up, stammer, get all my mords wuddled and fack to bront, pause in inappropriate places in my speech, and then I totally forget what I was saying, what the subject was, and that I was saying anything at all, and sit there waiting for the other person to say something, meanwhile they’re waiting for me to finish what I was saying…
Did I sleep? I don’t actually know. If I did it wasn’t for long. I laid in bed, on my back cause it was aching a bit and that position felt most comfortable at the time, I couldn’t focus my mind on anything at all, so just let it wander around in a harmless fogginess of little incoherant and incomplete thoughts for a bit and hoped I’d fall asleep.
The next thing I was aware of, I was laying in exactly the same position that I first laid in bed. My whole body felt very strangely numb, and heavy, and felt as if I couldn’t move, as if I hadn’t moved for a very very long time. I could hear every little noise going on around me but I couldn’t react to anything. I couldn’t even open my eyes. Everything was pitch black. Someone could have broken into my house and been standing over my bed, the house could have caught fire, my kids could have come in and tried to get my attention by literally jumping on me, and I seriously doubt I would have been able to do anything at all about it. It was scary in a really strange way, but I wasn’t actually scared. The best description I could give for it was that I was too numb and tired to feel any fear.
The first sound I could hear most vividly sounded at first to me like a loud dripping tap, but eventually after a while my mind realised something was wrong with that image. I became aware of where I was in relation to it and there’s no tap outside in the laneway let alone anything out there that could drip. Then I realised it was the sound of someone bouncing a basketball. It wasn’t drip drip drip at all, it was dribble dribble dribble. lol Only a lot slower as they were actually catching the ball for a second or two between bounces.
As soon as I was aware of what (I think) it really was, the sound was gone. I still couldn’t move. I still couldn’t think properly either. I still couldn’t feel anything but this heavy numbness that was feeling really badly aching. I wanted to move and stretch a little and roll over and snuggle to sleep more comfortably, but I couldn’t. Little incoherant thoughts of confusion crept in. My thoughts were kinda like this…
Is there someone… What is… Why can’t I just… Coco Pops… Why is that dust… <friend> would probably… <music>… I need to get weeds… How do I… The toilet… Over by the window… What is going on… <friend>… Horse… Is that my… Is there a mouse… <son’s name> is still… Drawing picture… Where the hell is… It’s a bed… Lasagna….
…with long pauses of not thought at all between them.
Through all this I could hear the last party goers from my neighbour’s place leaving, saying goodbyes, chatting, getting in their cars, driving away, walking away, etc; but it seemed a lot more distant and foggy than it normally would be for the house that they were at. And I still couldn’t move.
So I laid there for what seemed like hours in this state before I was finally able to roll over and snap out of it. I don’t know how long I was like that for, I don’t know how long I slept for, if indeed I slept at all. I could have just laid down and had a flashback that left me semi-catatonic for the whole time, or I slept and woke up from a nightmare and the phase of going from nightmare to lucidity made me feel like I’d been there for hours.
I know I was there in that state for as long as it took for my neighbour’s party to dissipate and everyone to leave and then for a bit longer than that. They usually wind up around midnight and their last stragglers toddle off at around 1am or not too long after, but that doesn’t tell me much about tonight. They could have finished up at their usual time, could have finished up later than normal. I just don’t know.
I managed to shake this sensation off at around 3pm. Sounds indicate events, events take time (eg: It takes about 15-20 seconds for someone to walk from their house to mine and get into a car parked 2 doors further up the road.) and yet I still can’t figure it out.
It is entirely possible I haven’t slept at all and my head sure as hell feels that way. But once again, for some reason, although utterly exhausted both mentally and physically, in fact so much so that I’m even too exhausted to feel anxious - I just no longer care - and yet I’m still I’m hyperalert and paranoid, and my chances of getting to sleep again anytime soon are pretty fucked.
I’m still hearing sounds even now that apparently don’t actually exist, when I look to investigate the source of the sound there’s nothing that could possibly be making that noise. I thought I heard the shower dripping, upon inspection it’s completely dry. I thought I heard my clothes dryer going, upon inspection it is off and unplugged. I thought I could hear someone talking in another room, upon inspection no one is there. This sort of thing has been going on for the hour I’ve been awake, up, and out of bed. Fortunately it’s slowly, finally, stopping.
With a clearer mind I can probably safely guess I haven’t slept at all and just wound up in a full on flashback for almost 3 hours that very slowly disolved back into reality over a long time, and even still hung around audibly for another hour afterwards.
Fucking hate nights like this. I’m going to go back to bed and try to go to sleep. Wish me luck, I think I’m going to need it.
Just another rambling rant from me about the concept of God. This one is because someone has actually asked for more about what I think of the topic. I’ll likely end up posting a series of these sort of posts at this rate. lmao
So what does God want from us? What is our purpose in life? Well now although good questions, it’s arrogant to assume we actually deserve an answer, or that any answer we do get is one that is going to be good for us to become aware of. Not to mention, would we even begin to comprehend it even if we did get an answer? Probably not! We as humans think we’re pretty damn smart, but compared to whatever created this existance that we’re a part of, we may as well be slugs for our comprehension of the more complex aspects of our existance - such as the actual purpose of it.
Nothing is ever quite as random as it seems. Just because we don’t know and can’t find out the purpose of something, that doesn’t mean there is no purpose. Just because something seems horrific and wasteful, doesn’t mean that it is pointless.
There’s too many shades of grey in life to mention equal and opposite in relation to this, but the fact remains: Every action has a reaction. You get upset over something, you cry, you use tissues, you throw the tissues in the bin, they create landfill… on the other end of the story you run out of tissues sooner, so you have to buy more, so you have to spend more money, so you have to earn more money or go without something else meanial… meanwhile the store that you bought the tissues from makes more money, the company that sold the tissues makes more money and needs to supply the shop more stock, thus has to make more tissues, thus more paper is needed, thus more trees are needed, thus another section of forest is cleared… and they have to make more deliveries, which requires more vehicles, which requires more petrol… and the government made more money as well from taxes associated with the end cost of that item, so they have more money to spend, so another weapon is built for the war they’re waging, which kills people in some far off land you’ve never been to… and that’s just the start of that tangled web of events!
When it’s so hard to follow all the knock-on consequences from one tiny event such as a tissue getting used, how on earth do you, as a human being, expect to comprehend the vast knowledge and understanding required to get a grip on a concept such as a purpose to your one, single, individual, estimated 75 year life - which is barely even a tiny drop in the ocean of time itself?
Maybe the whole point of the life of the dinosaurs was to give us petrol for our cars? Maybe the point of our existance is to become some precious gem that is dug up out of the depths of a former nuclear waste sediment layer by some completely different species of creature, that then gets set in jewellery that is given to a loved one on a special occasion. To think we’re any more important than that as a species is rather arrogant.
Have you ever prayed and wondered why your prayers weren’t answered? If God is indeed a sentient being that will respond to an individual, I’m pretty sure he’d be pretty pissed off if he suddenly had to adjust his intensely complex grand scheme of all of existance that he’s created and set in motion just for your sake. He’s allowed to say “no.”
So is God a sentient being? My other blog already covered the concept that God is everything, so he’s not some independant entity, a being, sitting on some cloud looking down over all of us. As for sentience, well…
Life and everything in it works and functions the way it does by obeying an extremely complex and inter-woven set of laws that we are still trying to figure out! We usually call them laws of nature or laws of science. Did you ever think that maybe they are actually the laws of God? Physics, chemistry, biology, mathematics… they determine everything. Humans discovered gravity, sorry folks, we didn’t invent it, the laws that determines the way it works and comes into existance are what made it. We discovered medicine… penicillin would always have worked from the dawn of our existance as a species, it just took until 1928 for someone to figure it out! It would have taken something of extreme intelligence to form all the laws that determine the outcomes of every little thing and set it all in motion to get us all from a void of nothing yet everything up to the point where you’re a somewhat sentient human being reading this blog on a computer screen.
What would I say to those who have suffered abuse or horrific trauma and are wondering what the purpose of all that was? Join the fucking club! You probably won’t ever find out. But guaranteed, there was a reason for it in the overall grand scheme of things. Maybe in 10 years time you’ll be able to help someone else through a hard time because you’ve had experience in picking yourself up from the ashes of a fucked up life and risen above it. Maybe you’ll have your own child and be able to break the cycle of abuse by making sure that child is able to grow up with a good life free from that sort of shit, thus creating a good person that might accomplish more than you were ever able to as a result of any shit that happened to you. Maybe you might just say or blog one simple little phrase that impacts heavily on the life of someone that just passes you by, someone you never even find out the name of let alone how much it effected them, and they could go on to have a greater understanding of themselves or someone or something else because of it. Just because you don’t know what your purpose is, doesn’t mean you don’t have one.
To look at events of life on a grander scheme: September 11, 2001 - what a waste of human life that was! Or was it? What happened after that as a knock on effect like with the tissues… wars… more death and destruction… one day something positive might end up coming out of the ashes of all that eventually, in someone else’s lifetime. But meanwhile in our lifetime, rescue and disaster clean-up attempts of a mass scale were pretty much non-existant until that day. Since that time, many lives have actually been saved after natural disasters and the like with mass evacuation, mass rescue and mass clean-up proceedures that were pretty much invented through necessity because of the events of 9/11. The Bali bombings a few years later… medical burns units have a far more advanced knowledge and treatment facilities and proceedures available because of that. Cyclones and hurricanes have been tearing apart lives and whole cities since the dawn of time, millions have died as a result of them over the centuries; but with each one that has wiped out a city and took human lives with it, better warning systems, building improvements, and better evacuation proceedures have been created… the result of all this accumulated knowledge: Cyclone Yasi hits major populated areas of Australia in February this year, the largest Cyclone in recorded history, and the death toll = 0. Yes, that’s right. Zero. Not a single life lost.
The most important thing of all that you need to be aware of is:
You’re here and you’re still alive. It’s a fucking miracle. Despite the fact that millions of people die every day, you’re not dead yet. Despite the fact that millions of people in the world can’t have children, you were born. Your parents, their parents, their grandparents, and every person along the family tree going back to whatever creatures humans evolved from, and whatever creatures they evolved from, all the way back to some single cell prokaryote in the primeordial soup that life crawled out of… everyone and everything that played a part in your creation has not only been able to breed but has actually managed to somehow live long enough to do so, and you are the result. Be grateful for the life you have, however sucky it might seem when you wake up in the morning. Things could always have ended up a lot worse off. One of your ancient ancestors could have mutated the wrong way and became a type of eukaryote instead of a type of prokaryote and you could have ended up being a lump of grass that someone’s pet dog just shit on.
You’re so fucking special you can’t even begin to comprehend it.
That is why you will never actually find out what the purpose of it all is, no matter how much you pray and search for an answer. It would be like trying to explain differential calculas to one of those cute fluffy little kittens everyone likes to blog pictures of.
If god only created two people, adam and eve, then wouldn’t that mean we’re all ‘inbreeds”? lol
That was exactly my point… there would have to have been more people than that, just because it wasn’t mentioned doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, and I think I mentioned something about it had to be that way (more people) unless we all want to say we’re all inbred.
I’m probably going to get a lot of crap for this post, but it’s just a philosophical from me banter. This is the sort of shit I think about now and then. I will be sticking it to science and religious fanatics alike as well as the entire human species in general. This is my opinion. If you don’t like it, fuck off and go find your own.
In the beginning there was void… Well, that works with various scientific theories. Be it a vast void of emptiness with a dense rock in the center that exploded or a void of gasseous molecules that eventually met up and formed all the natural elements and eventually suns and planets, etc; either way it fits.
God created the heavens and the earth… Okay, so the planets and suns and satellites and all the other stuff in the universe that we still know fuck all about was created, well done. Still holds well with scientific theory.
Somewhere along this time line he created the oceans and lands, animals, plants, humans, etc… Okay, so scientific theory says it happened in one order of events and the bible says it in a different order of events. But none of us were there to see it happen so what the fuck. It happened. The end result is that we are here, we have a planet to live on, with plants and animals, oceans and lots of good stuff made up of tiny little molecules, which are made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. It all boils down to physics and chemisty whichever way you want to look at it. It doesn’t matter what anyone believes, the fact is, the matter and energy everything is made from is here, and it’s here to stay. I definately agree with one thing that is repeated in this part of the bible: it is good.
Okay so maybe we evolved… has anyone other than me ever considered the idea that God made evolution? I mean seriously, think about it. Evolution is the perfect tool for survival of life. Life may change in form, individual species die out but others are discovered as new species’ form: LIFE ON EARTH still survives and has done for millions of years and will continue to do so for millions more (assuming we don’t get smashed by some giant asteroid or the like in the meantime). Surely that’s what is important, and really, with evolution being so perfect for it’s purpose, to deny that God created it would be an insult to any god! There’s no way in hell any human would be smart enough to create it. Discover it, yes, but to create it in the first place… sorry people, we’re not that fucking smart!
But what about the part about us being made from the earth? I swear people are so stupid and ignorant it’s absurd when it comes to taking things literally. Would you read Shakespear and think he meant every little analogy and metaphor he used in a literal sense? For fucks sake wake up! Humans in every language have used analogies and metaphors to explain stuff in simple terms ever since the dawn of time, why would the bible be written any differently? God didn’t write the fucking bible, man did. Human beings passed the stories down through generations and eventually people started picking up writing implements of various types, and wrote it all down to the best of their knowledge. It got translated, and re-translated and eventually it got compiled from writings in many languages and got published as a book, now available in many more languages. To think that it all has to be taken literally word for word is naive and stupid. Look past the words themselves and get the fucking point of it! Okay, I guess that might be too much to ask of most people, after all, most people won’t have even been able to read this blog this far down and understood most of what I’ve said so far, what chance do they have of understanding something as complexly written as the bible? Pfft.
Earth, dirt, soil, mud… is all made of molecules which are made up of protons, neutrons and electrons, the exact same building blocks as the shit we’re made from. What better way to explain it to people who have never seen a fucking electon microscope! FFS, it’s brilliant and it’s perfectly correct in its metaphorical sense.
As for doing it all in 6 days and then resting on the 7th… OMG do I actually have to repeat myself about taking things literally?
God created Adam, then Eve… which came first: the chicken or the egg? What the hell does it matter? Who said Adam and Eve were individual people anyway? The names could be metaphors for two tribes of people for all we know! The point is, humans are on Earth. Woot! The scientific probability of that happening was so slim, still possible but very highly improbable, and yet here we are!
And these amazing first humans to exist could breed… Adam and Eve had 2 sons, Cain and Able… Cain killed Able then took himself a wife… where the hell did she suddenly come from? Even if Adam and Eve were individual people and the first man and woman on Earth, the bible does not say they were the ONLY man and woman God created! If I wrote an auto-biography and neglected to state in the book that I sprained my ankle when I was 16 years old, does that mean it didn’t happen? No it doesn’t. It just means I didn’t bother adding in that much minor detail to a story when it wasn’t really necessary to get the important shit of life across to the reader. So God most likely made Adam and Eve first then went about making a heap of other people as well that we just didn’t know about. He had to have done. There’s no way any species on earth can survive solely from one male and one female breeding stock. Unless you all want to admit you’re all fucked up from being inbred… hang on, that might explain a lot…
That’s the start of life covered, what about the end of it? Is there a life after death? Who cares! Once you’re dead, you’re gone from this life, it’s over, finished, done, the end; and it’s not going to come back. If people stopped fussing so much about what happens after they die, they might actually pay a bit more fucking attention to what they’re doing with their lives while they still have one!
But ultimately, it all comes back to molecules. That oxygen atom you just breathed in will likely attach itself to a haemoglobin molecule in your blood, which will feed a living cell in your body and allow it to function and keep on living. That oxygen molecule was floating around in the air before you breathed it in, but think about this… what was it before then? For all you know, it could have been farted out of the arse of the guy living down the road from you a few weeks ago. He could have picked it up as part of a hamburger he ate. The meat patty of that hamburger was once a cow. That cow used to eat grass. The grass used to convert carbon dioxide to oxygen. That carbon dioxide could have come from someone smoking a cigarette. That cigarette was once a tobacco plant… <fast forward> … that was once a wooly mammoth… <fast forward> …that was once a dinosaur… <fast forward>… that was once a little molecule floating around in that great vast void.
Scientific fact: matter changes form and when destroyed it converts into energy, energy changes form but can not be destroyed.
So you die. Whether you’re buried, burned or blown up in a nuclear explosion and totally decimated is irrelevant. Every part of your body, every little molecule, every little spark of electo-chemical energy that is a part of you now, eventually will become part of something else. Every time you fill your car with petrol, you’re filling it with dead dinosaurs. Think about that for a while.
One day in many millions of years in time, or longer, the molecules that make you now, will be tiny little parts of billions of other things. Eventually, once all the matter that exists is destroyed and converted into energy, it will forever exist as energy, a great big void of nothing but energy. You will become one with everything in the most literal sense. Everything that is currently a part of you once came from something else. In this sense, we are all connected. We are all part of everything. We came from a void from which it was all created, and we will return to a void.
Metaphorically: from dust we came to dust we shall return… and science shows that it is indeed correct.
The bible says that when we die we become one with God. It also says that God is everywhere. God is everything. We came from everything, when we die we become part of everything again…
Mother nature, the universe, God; you can even give God a thousand different names if you want to and create a different religion with different dogmas and beliefs to go with each one. I don’t give a fuck what you want to call it.
I choose to call it God.
As for what our purpose is, what rules we should follow, whether God listens to or answers prayers, and all that complex shit that comes between life and death… I’ll make that a different blog on a different day, and probably make everyone hate me even more. lol
PTSD is causing too many shit problems in my life!
One of the many things I hate about having PTSD is the extra things I suffer because of it besides the PTSD symptoms. For example: my fluctuating anxiety and depression makes me not eat properly, not eating properly causes me IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), IBS causes me extreme fluctuations between constipation and diahorea, extreme fluctuations between constipation and diahorea causes haemorhoids, haemorhoids causes anal pain, anal pain triggers me to have flashbacks, flashbacks inevitably increases my depression and anxiety… and around we go again.
What has made you most succeed in life?
Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
What is one thing that you would like to do for yourself today?
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
You asked for questions, so I hope this kept you busy for at least a few. lol
My eldest son. If it wasn’t for him I’d have curled up and died years ago.
If I’m still alive… um… living in Sydney, probably could become some crazy eccentric artist by then. lol
Get rid of the damn mice plague that has invaded here in the past couple of days! We had a plague of crickets couple of weeks ago, now it’s a mice plague.. waiting for the sky to rain blood red next… that hasn’t happened this year yet, over due time for it. Will have to link a video of that here one day for ya. It’s pretty awesome to see it raining red.
A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
I think I need to cull my swearing around my toddler… he has about 21 words that he randomly babbles now and he’s just added “fuckin’ hell” to his vocabulary… Hmm… wouldn’t be so bad if I could explain to him what it meant and when it’s inappropriate to say it! atm he’s just wandering around baby babbling and saying ‘bye bye, bye bye, fuckin hell, ba ba, fuckin hell, bye bye, fuckin hell, good boy, ba ba, fuckin hell, bye bye, good boy.” hmm.
I want a miniature goat, and a miniature pig, and a miniature donkey, and a miniature horse, and miniature lop earred rabbits, and a miniature dog, and miniature chickens… oh hang on, I’ve already had the miniature dog and chickens… I want a … fuck it, just give me a miniature farm! But this… this takes first place! This is awesome!