August 2011
166 posts
Why is it so hard?
Why do people find it so hard to maintain a long distance relationship?
Most of the best relationships I had were long-distance for a lot of it. The way I see it, I could be single and have no one at all for several months, or I could be waiting for the return of someone I love and communicate with them when possible. I could have no one to say, “I love you” or I could have someone to exchange those words with now and then on the phone, via email, or letter or whatever. I’d rather a long distance relationship over none at all.
“How can you live without him for so many months?” I would get asked. That’s the easy part, it’s getting used to him being home again that gets difficult! lol
The best advice Mum ever gave me.
Seen a few posts about this problem recently so decided to share.
The day before and during menstruation, exercise. Walk, run, swim, dance, anything to get those hips, stomach, butt and lower back muscles moving. Exercise pelvic floor muscles when you have to sit still. And have sex (if you have a willing partner) or masturbate, a lot, at every opportunity (in the shower or bath makes it less eeewwww! cause it washes away instantly). The less you feel like doing it, the more you need to do it. It reduces stress, eases cramping, and allows the menstrual flow to come away better thus ending the period sooner (although may only be by half a day it’s better than nothing!).
When she first told me that I thought she had totally lost her mind, but eventually I decided to try it and OMFG it works! Why the hell there isn’t some national public awareness campaign about this I have no idea, but it worked for her all her life and has worked for me for (does the math…) 25 years.
Can't decide if that was dumb or not
I decided to save myself $50 and do some work in the yard myself rather than pay someone to do it for me, and now it’s done; and I’m in a world of pain and likely won’t be walking anywhere for a couple of days. owie owie owie wawa owie
How about we just treat people equally regardless of gender, race or anything.
Unless you think you are a cat or something. then you can fuck off.
The only problem with the concept of equal treatment for all is that people don’t behave equally. If they did, it would be easy and fair to treat them all equally, but when someone acts like a complete cockhead, to treat them the same as someone that actually deserves respect because they behave respectfully undermines the decent person. That being said, if more people treated each other according to their behaviour instead of shallow bullshit like skin colour or whether or not they have a dick, then the world might be a better place.
Does your past define who you are?
I’ve often pondered all the ramifications of this concept, and I think I’ve got an answer (my opinion).
In the past I was abused, badly, and made to believe I was worthless, hopeless, only good for one thing, etc. I now have PTSD. The experiences that created my PTSD changed me. I’m not the same person I was and never again will be. Is that a bad thing? No, and I’ll explain why by the end of this ramble.
So what defines me?
Am I what they tried to tell me I am? Am I worthless, hopeless, only good for one thing, etc. Am I my mental illness? Is there is no more me than the symptoms of PTSD?
Hell no!
That is not how my past has defined me, because I’m not going to let it. I refuse to be that. I decided to rise above that. I have made myself worth something, and will not let anyone get away with treating me that way again. I learned to reduce the severity and how often the symptoms of my PTSD affect me, and how to deal with it as another small part of my life instead of making it a big part of my life, and I will not let it win.
Had I not lived through the things I have, I wouldn’t know the things I now do. I wouldn’t be able to cope with things I now can. I wouldn’t be as strong as I now am.
Someone that has never suffered a traumatic experience of any kind will probably suffer one of some sort eventually. Be it the loss of a loved one, a car accident, or some disaster of some sort, eventually one day something is bound to happen. When something terrible happens to most people that have never had to deal with the harsher things in life, they struggle to deal with it. For me, when something happens like that now, I roll my eyes and think, “Oh ffs here we go again!” and deal with it as I have learned that traumatic things need to be dealt with.
Yes, it changed me, but it didn’t define me. I use what I learn through my experiences to decide who I want to be.
My past doesn’t define me, but it did strongly influence how I define myself.
From Tumblr's About page:
The average Tumblr user creates 14 original posts each month, and reblogs 3.”
Makes me wonder if technically, according to tumblr, re-blogging something and then commenting on it like I am now qualifies as an original post. If that’s the case, then that statistic would make a lot more sense.
Define happy.
Am I happy? Well, for the most part no, but let’s be real, no one is. Life can not always be happy. Most of it is boring and mundane. However, that doesn’t make it miserable. It just makes it boring and mundane.
When something goes wrong and bad, that’s when I’m miserable. When something goes right and good, thats when I’m happy. For 90% of the time, I’m content to be simply … meh. All it took for me to stop feeling miserable just because life wasn’t happy all the time was for me to accept that life is mostly boring and decide to be content with that.
As a result, when something does make me miserable, I’m not hitting the extremes of misery that I used to. When life is seen as miserable during all the boring times, then something goes wrong, misery only has one way to go - extreme. Now it just becomes normally miserable and I’m not stressing out over trying to find a constant happiness that can simply never exist, thus I’m able to better appreciate the little things that do make me happy.
I still plan to move to a better place though, because those little happy things will happen more often and the little miserable things less often. Which means I’ll then be able to say my life there is happier than it was here, even though most of it will still be rather boring and mundane.
I want a best friend that I can be really cynical with.
Oh hell yeah! Put my name at the top of that list.
What to do... ?
a) Fully forgive the man that completely screwed up and destroyed all trust; but came back, apologised, accepted responsibility for his own actions and faced the fire, and give him a chance.
b) Give the new man that’s interested a chance instead.
a) I don’t know if I can trust him again. How do you trust someone that very suddenly went against everything they ever said? He was going through a hard time… can I even believe that or is that just a bullshit excuse?
b) I don’t trust him at all because I don’t know him.
a) I would have dove into his arms had he said what he recently did before he screwed up. Now I’m not so sure anymore.
b) I don’t know if I’m really interested or not because I don’t know him.
a) I’ve known him for quite some time and we have almost everything in common.
b) I still don’t know what we have in common at all beyond being human.
Whichever way I go, it’s going to damage the friendship I have so far with the one I turn away because jealousy and rejection hurts. I am going to have to choose, and chances are, I’ll have to choose before I get a chance to really know the second one properly and before time tells whether the first one is going to learn from his mistakes.
Better the devil I already know and love but need to learn to trust again, or the one that is still a complete mystery?
I think I’m going to have to sit on this for as long as I can and just see what they both do, because I’ve never been in a situation quite like this before. I have no idea what to even think of it let alone what to do.
“Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves and, of course, each other. If girls dressed for boys they’d just walk around naked at all times.”
—Betsey Johnson (via loveforfashion)